slow boat to china

HELLLOOOOO!

Ainsley, Joy and I went to the Botanic Gardens to have an outdoorsy threesome after days of traipsing through town, where we bought new clothes woohoo ^^

NEW SEXY SHOES
I don't understand why my mum can't extend my curfews now that I have these. Which robber would be brave enough to mug someone armed with these spiked shoes???

Ainsley's $3 YSL inspired ring vs Jonk's many hundred dollar worth real ring!!

Amidst the flurry of rabid pigeons that Ainsley attracted when he fed one innocent-looking bird, Joy introduced us to a profound school of thought called Kokology. Here's a devious Joy holding the book (which got shat on by angry bird moments later). It judges your character by your responses to scenarios, like Berry Stealing, a situation Joy presented to Ains and I. Try it also!!

*Joy's dialogue slightly altered*

Joy: You're walking through the countryside when you see a big field of berries. You want to pick some, but they belong to someone else who has blocked strangers out with a fence! How high is the fence?
Ainsley: Around knee-height
Me: Very high, like in a concentration camp!!

Joy: You climb over the fence like a berry craving monkey. How many berries do you illegally eat?
Ainsley: A handful I think, several
Me: As many as I can eat, a whole basket!

Joy: Oh no! The farmer approaches, looking angry. He demands to know what you're doing! How are you going to explain yourself?!
Ainsley: I say sorry and run away very fast
Me: I start talking in Chinese and pretend I'm a PRC tourist who doesn't understand

Joy: After the whole incident is resolved, how do you feel as you reflect upon it? How did the berries taste?
Ainsley: A bit ashamed. The berries were sour.
Me: Satisfied. The berries were super ripe and juicy!

ANSWERS

Joy: This test is about sexual affairs
Ainsley and I: Huh?!

Joy: LOL. The height of the fence represents your level of discipline toward sexual matters
Ainsley: *blush*

Joy: LOL. The number of berries you eat represents the number of sexual affairs you might have
Me: Oh no

Joy: LOL. Your response to the farmer represents your likely reaction when confronted by your spouse about your cheating
Me: Aiyooo run away!
Ainsley: HAHAHA act like PRC

Joy: LOL. Your reflection on the incident represents what you might feel after your extramarital affair
Me and Ainsley: :0

I want to know your answers too! But I have no comments system :'( and nevertheless, this is just kokology anyway.

We have been trying to arrange a class zoo outing since fundraising 2010 (foiled by David Gabriel and Jonk coming to school abit hungover). Stan created and sent out multiple ZOO TIME NIGGAS FB invitations, which didn't work in the end!

Unexpectedly, the zoo plan materialized for Joy, Ainsley and I this week ^^ We met in the morning at 1030 (so early!) at AMK, where we saw Bonus Tai San, who had accompanied Ainsley at breakfast.

Our aim was to be the most retarded visitors the zoo has ever welcomed.

First it was the treetop trails. Monkeys mouse deer and gharials!

My friend Mingyang

HAHAHA

Joy was full of factual stories about how and which animals had previously attacked zookeepers. Ainsley replied to the tragic story by saying that the white tiger would look great on a tank top, better than an orange tiger.

Joy and Ainsley pretending to be pygmy hippos.

We were surprised to see so many faces at the zoo. Does this remind you of...?

Sweet family of orang utans!

We moved to the Wild Africa section of the zoo, and all Ainsley and I could do was cry repeatedly over how chio the animal prints were.

CHEETAH PRINT

ZEBRA PRINT (with a dip dyed lavender tail?!)

GIRAFFE PRINT
Ainsley: Dat Ass!

LEOPARD PRINT
Just like me!

JAGUAR PRINT
Joy: Ainsley...why do you take these things?
Ainsley: What? It just spread its legs for me

Nice picture of the lion Ainsley took
Me: Not that big what, looks very small. I think it's the size of a Golden Retriever nia.
Ainsley: You have no sense of proportion

Celeste Teo's home!!! HAHA.

We were repulsed and horrified to discover that the naked molerats were given a huge new enclosure.

Next we went to the Fragile Forest, where Joy confronted her childhood fear!

The true angry bird. This creature had chased Joy when she was young and only kept running the faster she sprinted.

Joy (scrolling through Ainsley's camera): There is a recurring theme of private parts in this bunch of photos.

She's right

Flashers everywhere

It's Bubbles

Ainsley's bleached shorts are nice

At the Kid's World, I persuaded Ainsley and Joy to take a ride on the carousel! We ended up having to buy the grown up tickets and were the only 3 people on it. The lady in charge of the queue lolzed at us.

We ran to our favourite animals immediately!

Landshark on a landshark

Biggest cock we've ever seen

This made me feel like a night elf in WOW.

We saw this little boy on a leash at the entrance of the kid's world!

Miniature ponies. We also wanted to ride them but we were too big.

Landshark attempt 2. Ainsley's mouth is open because he kept instructing me on how to use his flash. The noble boy sacrificed the glamness of his pic for the sake of Joy's lighting.

I was determined to hug every crocodile in the zoo

I CAN HAS SARS

Ainsley: OMG this would be a great bag.

FLASHER ALERT

Stoner Joy

A happy elephant. We kept discussing how it was probably laughing listening to our jokes with its gigantic ears. It turned out its mouth was open while waiting for its trunk to pick up leaves to eat.

Ainsley's family

Hideous baboon, just like Joy's taxi driver said. He also warned Joy against "parrots who want to stick to you"

I wore my sheep mask and climbed into the kangaroo enclosure. Ainsley pretended to be a charmed tourist.

I came all the way from Australia! Good quality lamb meat.

Can we have some wo-tar, mate? *Australian accent*

Wild Australian creatures!

We also caught the giraffe feeding session. OMG it was so stressful, what with the giraffe's long creeping tongue licking everywhere, the indian zookeeper giving you intructions bossily in a thick lolz-inducing accent, and the pressure to pose for the camera man who kept snapping pictures at the speed of Arjun.

Joy was so delighted/stoned she gave no thought to the indian man's criticisms on the way she was feeding. Look at him in the background hahaha, he looks disgruntled.

Its tongue is as blue as a bubblegum slushie.

Joy and I wearing caps JQ style.
I unexpectedly miss JQ although he scares me sometimes.

The tram came to its final stop, and we were prepared to leave the zoo. However, there was one last thing to do. There were some seal statues that we'd wanted to take pictures with, but a group of puny kids was sprawled over them the first time we passed. Grr. This time however...

HAHA this reminds me of someone listening to the sound of waves in a seashell.

Queen of the seals

King of the seals

We were inspired by an exuberant Indian tourist who pretended to be a knight on the seal.

Flamingo Ainsley

LOL there used to a be a picture of us using mosquito patches as bindis here. But it's simply too retarded, I had to remove it.

OK END OF A LONG LONG POST.