OH GOD

I probably heard this phrase a thousand times yesterday. It was Bensoh's default response to everything that happened...which should have been captured on Lim Heng's blackmail loaded iphone, but can only be flimsily recounted by me now!

In the morning, I woke up to a text by Celeste Teo, who in the end rejected even Niran's pleas! "Terrible child" - Audrey Tay

But when I think about it now, I had a pretty good morning ^^

Then I traveled to Marina Square and discovered Bensoh and Sanjev having lunch together in the same Burger King where we had exchanged shit tales while eating previously. They were discussing golf passionately and revealed that both of them are quite good golfers! Just like Bchen, with whom they have a complicated three way relationship.

In year 5, Bchen and Bensoh were extremely close, and their intimate moments were probably what made Jarett insist that David and Shivam get rid of the precious class couch. But in year 6, their relationship unexpectedly deteriorated like Katy and Russell's. Bchen found a quick rebound in his friend Sanjev. However the love quickly blossomed and they took the big step of moving in together and talking about "quiffing".

So when Bchen found us, Niran and I were invisible to him. All he saw was Bensoh making a move on Sanjev, and aggressively stabbed Bensoh's burger with Sanjev's golf peg thingy, which has seen 18 years of mud. Bensoh retaliated by rummaging through Bchen's bag, which unexpectedly contained boxes of candy like Veggie Tales gummies.

Sanjev and Bchen also had matching beards and moustaches. Bchen looked like the Chinese rapist at Velvet and Sanjev looked like "the goat from Narnia" according to Niran.

Then we went bowling again. It was a very close fight...between Bchen and everyone else, because he was really amazing. Even the Dora lookalike that Niran spotted bowling in the neighbouring lane couldn't distract him.

Afterward we cabbed to Stan's place. More shit stories were unintentionally shared again. This time, it all started because we were talking about money -> Shivam saying he would pay Bensoh to shit in his own hands if he became a billionaire overnight -> Lim Heng saying he would pay Bensoh to let David shit on his face -> Bensoh actually contemplating this offer and saying 10,000 is not enough -> Lim Heng saying David's shit is probably hard -> Bensoh disagreeing based on one of the million theories he concocted -> Lim Heng calling David while he was buying army things to ask if his shit is hard or soft -> David saying it looks like Bensoh's face nia. Money is really the root of evil.

When we reached Stan's house, the need for censorship suddenly took over and we were given new names to preserve anonymity.

As usual, Raja, Barnabus and Hamlet were engaged in a fierce FIFA fight, leaving Frank, Xiao Ming, Ronald and Sandhanam upstairs to entertain themselves with the vast supply of beverages. Under the immoral influences of Xiao Ming and Frank, Ronald and Sandana decided to participate in a fearsome challenge of their own - doing marathon shots.

When Raja, Barnabus, Hamlet and I climbed to the roof top after becoming curious about what our companions were doing, we were astonished to see Frank pouring Ronald and Sandhanam their 15th shot each.

Goodness gracious! We cried (to that effect).

W T F are you doing. Your pits are damn sweaty. Raja added to Sandhanam, who clamped his arms down defensively.

Make him go wooooo! Raise your hands up in the air, let me see all your hands in the air! Xiao Ming shouted, imitating a DJ.

The two combatants deliberated on whether or not to take the next shot. Frank cackled and poured it anyway, and Ronald took it like a crazy man. Sandhanam hesitated for a while and even attempted the expedient of waving his glass around to try and splash some out so he wouldn't have to drink so much.

Ronald: Dey don't be a pussy. Look at you. You are 80kg, I'm 72kg. You had Burger King for lunch, I had SOUP for lunch.

Sandhanam started shouting about how soup can have meat or potatoes in it and listing out the kinds of soup that can help a person tank this kind of battle better than a measly burger king fish burger.

With this kind of provocations and Frank's constant refilling, they made it through 1.5 bottles and got to 18. Ronald promptly dropped the glass at this moment and it shattered dramatically. Frank and Hamlet had to leave for a buffet, and so we said our goodbyes and promised to keep them updated on the outcome.

They seemed surprisingly fine. Oh yeah! A new character had arrived to the plot, our friend Ali, whose sensible words failed to penetrate their craziness.

It was the calm before the storm. In seconds, Sandhanam had transformed into a raging beast like The Hulk, one that was determined to smash the life out of Barnabus. Ali and I sprrrrrrrinted down the stairs, me shrieking and screaming uncontrollably all the way, until we reached Stan's bedroom and barged into it like a SWAT team. Like in those thriller movies, Xiao Ming and Barnabus bashed into the room and rapidly locked the doors while Ali and I dove into Stan's bed for cover.

A knock came at the door.

Who's there? We called out in fright.

It's just me, Ronald. Said Ronald.

So Barnabus innocently opened the door, and Sandhanam burst out from behind, roaring and ready to pao Barnabus like many people often wish they could do. Ali, Xiao Ming and I took this opportunity to escape. We scrambled down the second flight of stairs, screams of OH GOD OH GOD in the air, and Barnabus and Sandhanam pounding after us.

And then...

It suddenly became 12.30am! So the rest will be written tomorrow haha. Goodnight!