Today I was a bowling champion!

But my title was quickly stolen by the underdog Hamza who led his team (Hamza Phoon Stan vs Luenell Nir Benita) to victory before dashing off to the mosque.

The turnout was unexpectedly great though with surprise Sanjev and bonus Phoon, who we all couldn't imagine bowling but was actually a natural! Celeste and I were especially delighted to have Sanjev there because Stan had told us over lunch about his intriguing dream involving Sanjev, and we wanted to see his reaction.

In the dream, he and Sanjev were dancing in Zouk. All of a sudden, Sanjev leapt to the middle of the dance floor, took off his pants, and started shitting with his characteristic cheeky smile on his face.

Celeste and I burst into laughter.

Celeste: Stan, don't you know? A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep!
Stan: Frick la dey!





Sanjev was not as amused when Stan recounted his subconscious experience, but it set off a round of stories about public shitting occurences

e.g Lim Heng's primary school classmate named Kenagas (???) who repeatedly insisted nothing was wrong when her nearby peers complained of a foul smell until their teacher made her stand up and "a lump of shit fell onto the chair"

e.g The time Sherwin screamed in a school toilet, drawing the attention of by standers Lim Heng and Sanjev...to a pile of shit lying randomly right at the doorstep of a cubicle. A poor student had sprinted all the way to the toilet only to fail so close to the target. The memory was so scarring that Sanjev said he distinctly remembered it looked "mossy" while Lim Heng said it looked "like mutton". They also reported that a China scholar trod right over the shit, impervious to the warning smell, and left a trail back to class to guide people needing to use the bathroom to the correct location like breadcrumbs in the fairytale. When Niran finished lolzing he also added that the cleaner refused to clean up that horrendous mess and up til today the hardened shit trail remains a popular tourist attraction.

LOL now that I type out this nonsense we seem very retarded and sick for laughing at these people's misfortunes but Sanjev and Lim Heng were very good storytellers and they made us laugh so much Stan got a stomachache!!

Stan also had the brainwave to dress Niran up in the construction worker outfit on results day, except it was a week late. The idea was great though and he was dismayed that someone else was chosen for the interview with the newspaper instead of the brilliant Ranny, which he could have worn the costume to and pretended it was his part-time vocation! Ranny even added more depth to this idea with the idea of whipping out a picture of Sanjev for the cameras, his son in Bangladesh for whom Niran was studying for. Trolls!

Then, we watched Borat for the 10093123928th time. But it was the first time watching with a real life Luenell, who was very proud of his screen time and kept demanding for the Borat counterpart to quickly get back in the action. Afterward he said he wouldn't jome but smoked a Gold. He said he wouldn't drink anymore after his beers but gulped down a Graveyard that Celeste liberally mixed for him.

He soon started worrying about going home to suspicious parents and he anxiously asked us how he could appear innocent when he returned.

Celeste: If you drink you won't smell like smoke!
Sanjev: I need to smell like...milk or some shit dei

Oh Luenell!